Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator

In Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator, you of course do not actually trade BABIES. We aren't monsters. You buy stocks BASED on the simulated lives of babies, profiting from their misery and cashing out the moment they win the Galactic Lottery! Step into the shoes of baby traders across the universe in a fast-paced series of mini-campaigns. Unlock unique character endings, bet on the lifespans of digitally simulated alien children, and snatch up as many credits as you can, as fast as you can. Purchase the services of strange consultants, gathering data on your trading targets and building your fortune one Trading Rush at a time. This is the baby-themed arcade stock market sim you didn't know you needed. Features Seven distinct planets to trade procedurally generated alien baby stocks on, each showcasing unique ideas of what it means to be profitable and productive to society. Consultants you can hire before the trading day to gain information on your trading targets. An anthology of mini-campaigns following the lives and complications of baby traders across the universe. A loan shark that won't let you pay him back, because he's then legally allowed to shoot you. An arcade satire on stock markets and ruthless exploitation from the creators of I Am Your Beast and Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator. Pulsing electro-industrial soundtrack by Kris Kirk. The ability to short a baby, because you believe its life will suck.

In Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator, you of course do not actually trade BABIES. We aren't monsters. You buy stocks BASED on the simulated lives of babies, profiting from their misery and cashing out the moment they win the Galactic Lottery! Step into the shoes of baby traders across the universe in a fast-paced series of mini-campaigns. Unlock unique character endings, bet on the lifespans of digitally simulated alien children, and snatch up as many credits as you can, as fast as you can. Purchase the services of strange consultants, gathering data on your trading targets and building your fortune one Trading Rush at a time. This is the baby-themed arcade stock market sim you didn't know you needed. Features Seven distinct planets to trade procedurally generated alien baby stocks on, each showcasing unique ideas of what it means to be profitable and productive to society. Consultants you can hire before the trading day to gain information on your trading targets. An anthology of mini-campaigns following the lives and complications of baby traders across the universe. A loan shark that won't let you pay him back, because he's then legally allowed to shoot you. An arcade satire on stock markets and ruthless exploitation from the creators of I Am Your Beast and Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator. Pulsing electro-industrial soundtrack by Kris Kirk. The ability to short a baby, because you believe its life will suck.