Baden Ronie

“Earth Must Die is a British-made sci-fi adventure about an alien emperor, an inconvenient human invasion, and a whole lot of bad decisions. It’s rude, sarcastic, and filled with smart puzzles — even if it never quite reaches genre-defining heights.”

“The best Paper Mario game since The Thousand Year Door just so happens to be missing the Paper Mario nametag. Escape From Ever After spins an entertaining fairy-tale yarn, backed by likeable characters, smartly designed combat, and a clear affection for the genre it’s riffing on.”

“Cute and quirky definitely describe Hoomanz!, but they also sum up its biggest limitation. I love the concept behind it all, but found myself losing interest in the gameplay after just a couple of levels. The developers wanted to keep it simple and casual so anyone can play, and it does nail that. But the best kinds of simple games also offer some hidden depth or clever hook to keep you playing — and that’s what Hoomanz! is missing. In a way, it’s a mercy that Hoomanz! is short — by the time its charm wears off, the credits are rolling.”

“Jotunnslayer: Hordes of Hel is a solid entry in a genre that’s fast becoming as crowded as its arenas, and it certainly dresses the part with its Norse gods and moody, almost triple-A presentation. But beneath the gleam lies a familiar, relatively safe loop that rarely strays from the beaten path carved by Vampire Survivors and its ilk. There’s fun to be had in the chaos — dodging through a blizzard of skeletons while Thor’s hammer spins off into the distance never gets old — but the repetition and lack of meaningful variety make this more of a hearty snack than a full feast worthy of Odin’s table.”

“It ain’t perfect. It’s buggy, it’s unbalanced, and it’s madder than a Goff on prom night—but that’s exactly what an Ork would call a good time.”

“The Executive doesn't really expand upon the tycoon sub-genres formula, but it's still an enjoyable, simple strategy game that lets you live out your fantasy of making movies without all the boring real-world work that goes into it. Now, grab the overpriced cinema popcorn, would you? I've got a schlocky werewolf horror script that will hopefully fix all of my money woes.”

“Mika and the Witch’s Mountain is a heart-warming game, a warm hug transformed into a delivery game packaged up in a cutesy wrapper. It’s the kind of game I can see appealing to a very specific crowd, the kind who are just looking for something cosy and cute, easy and fun.”

“I’m coming across as very harsh toward Kong: Survivor Instinct, so let me address that. You see, it’s not a truly bad game. I’ve played truly bad games and compared to those Survivor Instinct is like a sweet peck on the lips. But in some ways, it’s also worse than those terrible games because it’s boring. Horrible games and amazing games have something in common: they are interesting to experience. A truly god-awful game is at least interesting to pick apart and talk about in the same way that a great one is, too. But Kong: Survivor Instinct is just dull from start to finish. There’s nothing to talk about, from its non-existent story to its lifeless gameplay.”

“The Holy Gosh Darn uses its time-traveling gimmick to full-effect, crafting a multitude of fun puzzles within a world packed full of wacky characters, witty jokes and crude gags. But perhaps the best thing about the game is how it expands on the universe that Perfectly Paranormal is building. It’s said that God created man in his image, and once you’ve spent a while in Heaven and Hell it makes a lot of sense – the denizens of the Afterlife are a flawed bunch, and thus so are the humans.”

“Despite its obvious shortcomings, it’s a fun time that would best be played by someone who jumps on for a few hours a week so that the game’s simplicity can remain charming rather than repetitive. I certainly can’t fault the developer’s ambition – there’s a lot of stuff packed into Kaku: The Ancient Seal, including some very cool ideas. I just think if the developers had taken a few things out and focused on a couple of their key ideas, Kaku could have been even better. Taken for what it is though, Kaku: The Ancient Seal is a charming ARPG with a strong Zelda vibe and a lot of heart.”

“This review will likely read like I’m very negative toward Ereban: Shadow Legacy, so let me clarify: I think it’s fine. The trouble is that games that are just “fine” can be hard to talk about without coming across as being very negative. As a debut title from a new studio, Shadow Legacy is very competent in its design, and seems to derive a lot of inspiration from Aragami, even including a nice easter egg. But I also struggle to find anything exciting to talk about with it, and that may simply be because I’m not the best audience for it. Someone who hasn’t played many stealth games will probably enjoy it far more, as might an experienced sneaky bastard find its simplicity and easiness a nice change of pace.”

“Taken on its own merits, Swarm 2 is heaps of fun and an incredibly cool virtual reality experience. Swinging around like a gun-toting Spider-Man is immensely satisfying. As a sequel, I think it’s a little bit disappointing because the roguelike elements don’t add much, at least for myself. Others may find the emphasis on gradually building up power more enjoyable than I did.”

“In the end, I'm not sure who Stargate: Timekeepers is for. It certainly isn't for anyone who isn't already intimately connected to Stargate, that much is sure. But at the same time, it's so loosely woven into the Stargate universe that it doesn't feel like it's for fans of the TV shows, either. As a huge Stargate nerd who went into this looking forward to finally seeing Stargate come back, I didn't get anything from Timekeepers. It doesn't tie in well with the existing lore, it doesn't expand the universe at all and it doesn't tell a meaningful Stargate story. That just leaves the gameplay, and in that area Stargate: Timekeepers is decent but forgettable, and vastly overshadowed.”

“There’s a lot I like about Sovereign Syndicate. I like how it steers away from combat in favour of dialogue and decisions. I like its characters and its world. But there are chunks of the game that don’t quite work for me, from the levelling and skill checks which feel disconnected from everything else, to the final chapters of the story that struggle to bring our heroes together in a satisfying way. When it’s all working right, the story is absorbing and the world is fascinating. When it isn’t working right, the text becomes hard to parse and the sensation that Sovereign Syndicate is more like a book with mild interaction floats back to the surface.”

“Maybe Moviehouse is intended to be some sort of crazy parody of the modern movie machine. Perhaps it’s supposed to make you feel like Disney, mindlessly churning out scripts and movies to feed the insatiable appetites of movie-goers, each new film built on an established template. I think that’s giving Moviehouse too much credit, though, and even if that was the intent it wouldn’t fix the big problem – it’s just not fun.”

“Pharaoh: A New Era is not quite the perfect remake of the classic city-builder from the 90s that I was hoping for. The good news is that all of it is fixable, so we just have to hope that the developers will keep working on the game to iron all of its bugs. If they do, then this will be a fantastic remake of an already excellent game. Right now, though, it stands as a decent remake of an excellent game.”

“Pronty is a fairly typical Metroidvania game in most regards, drawing heavily from some of the genre’s big hitters and then mixing in some of its own unique elements. The result isn’t watered-down, it’s stronger for it. The underwater setting is beautiful and Pronty is a joy to control, especially in combat and against the fun bosses. If the Metroidvania genre hasn’t won you over I doubt Pronty will change your mind, but if you love getting lost in a big map and stumbling across an upgrade that opens up new doors, Pronty is fantastically designed and a lot of fishy fun.”

“Crossfire: Legion is best described as a purely adequate RTS, which is why I’ve struggled to review it. Games like this are the hardest to talk about because there’s nothing that is worth dissecting or getting excited about. The gameplay is fine, the campaign is passable but dull and the online is already struggling to hold a healthy player base. Even though we have been starved of RTS titles recently, the only reason to buy Crossfire: Legion is if you’ve already played everything else and you really need to scratch that real-time strategy itch.”

“As a game that stands on its own, I find Cyanide & Happiness: Freakpocalypse to be disappointing and a little dull. Yeah, it did tease a few laughs out of me, but nothing to the same degree as the animated shorts available on Youtube or the web comics. And the gameplay doesn’t stand out, either. There are numerous excellent point and click titles out there that are both hilarious and that feature challenging, well-designed puzzles that tickle the grey matter in a most delightful way. Compared to these, Cyanide & Happiness: Freakpocalypse is like Cooper himself: kinda boring.”

“Sir Lovelot is a fun, well-designed precision platformer with a funny premise and tight controls. It never manages to platform its way up to the upper echelons of brilliance where the greatest examples of the genre are busy lounging around. But at £7.99 its hard to complain about that too much because you’re still getting a competent, enjoyable platformer that’s more relaxed and forgiving than something like Celeste or Super Meat Boy. Personally, I think that’s a good thing because Super Meat Boy makes me want to smash my computer and live out the rest of my life as a monk.”